April 17, 2012

You Never Really Know People

Yesterday, I heard some shocking news; and when I say shocking, I mean it. Last time I received shocking news was when I found out that I was pregnant. Via text message, I learned that a man I used to work with at my last military command was arrested this past weekend because proof of him sexually assaulting young girls within a Maryland Wal-mart store surfaced.

Just. Shocking.

This was a man that I spoke to nearly every single day for two years. I grew to know him pretty well. This was a man who mentored me, and he helped me to develop myself in my job and be better at it. The moment I heard the news, I just could not believe it. I did not want to believe it. If you are reading this and you happen to know this man, then you know the feelings that I am feeling. It's utterly unbelievable.

At first I thought it was a mistake; someone had the wrong guy. It wasn't until I clicked the link for the article and saw his picture pop up with it. My heart sunk. I honestly was just hoping that someone was wrong. Sadly, it is true. He is this awful person that committed an awful crime. What is really heartbreaking is the fact that this man has a family; a daughter in fact. I can't even imagine how his family must be feeling.

During my time at my last command while working with this man, I learned things from him. I respected him; everyone did. He was an extremely likable guy and never did anything inappropriate that would make me think it could lead to his recent behavior.

It makes me sick to my stomach. It always does when I hear about some man or woman abusing young children/minors. It is a horrible thing. It is even worse when you personally know that individual. A good friend of mine was even closer to him. They had a great friendship. I feel for her, and pray that she can not let this ruin any of the future relationships with people in her life. It is hard to trust people, but now I feel as though you can not trust anyone. I knew this man, and he knew me. We talked about our families, our jobs, our hobbies; we joked around. It is absolutely disheartening that this is actually real and could happen within the circle of people that I know.

Not only do I feel stupid for not ever knowing that this man was sick, but I now feel as though I must question all people I come into contact with. It is a scary feeling, and it is even scarier to think about the friendships and relationships my children will have in the future. How can you really know someone? I am afraid that this will cause me to hover too much over my children and the people that they are around. How scary is it to think, "What if this happens to my child?" or "What if someone were to hurt my child?"

I found all of this out yesterday while working. I was shocked then, but when I got up this morning, it was all I could think about. To tell you the truth, I had to re-read the articles three or four times just to make sure I hadn't dreamt it.

I am praying for his wife and children right now. I pray that they will get past the hurt and shame that they must feel. I pray that they will not endure ridicule for his mistakes. I also pray for him; I hope that he can get better. I pray for the young girls whom I am sure are experiencing fear and trauma. I pray that they can move on from these horrible events with time.

For anyone curious for more details, I have attached the link below.

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