Poop in the Shower, Snotty Kisses, & Other Disgusting and Annoying Things That My Kid Does

I find myself sometimes asking, "Is this really my life right now?!" One of those moments happened tonight as I was getting ready for a shower with my toddler. You may think it's weird, but a girl's gotta do what a girl's gotta do to get a shower in. For the past month or two, I have been bringing my son into the shower to not only save me some time, but to minimize clean-up (toys, puddles of water on the bathroom floor from him splashing in the bath, etc). It started off a bit rocky; he did not enjoy taking showers in the beginning and insisted that I hold him the entire time. I was thinking most of the times about what a horrible idea I had. Anyways, it has gotten a lot better as time has gone on. He actually loves taking showers now and occupies himself while I am busy shampooing and conditioning.

Tonight was...interesting. As I was readying the shower and waiting for the water to warm up, I started to strip him and next thing I know, this kid is pooping! As I frantically grabbed toilet paper to try and clean him up, he grabbed a bucket, filled it with the running water, and then dumped it all over himself and the floor. There goes that whole trying to minimize clean-up... After I wiped him off and used my own towel to soak up the water on the floor, I brought him in the shower and tried to clean the rest of him off all while he thought it was hilarious to violently flail his arms and legs around.

Speaking of  violence, he has really been using his legs lately to inflict pain on me. Maybe not knowingly, but jeez. I am not enjoying the kicks to my chest while I am trying to read my latest addiction (Hunger Games series, anyone?). Last night, as I was laying in bed reading, my son thought it would be funny to jump all over the bed, land on me, make me lose my place in the book, stick his feet in my face, and hit me on the head. Where is this coming from? I don't think he's learning this from me or my husband. Are they teaching kids at school how to annoy their parents nowadays? Do they teach them to turn the printer on and off repeatedly triggering windows to pop-up on my screen mid-type or to hit the power button on the television JUST as important plot points are unfolding?

Now, I love my son more than anything, and I love his kisses. But would it kill him to learn to wipe his snotty, drool-covered mouth once in a while and especially before he decides to give me a kiss? Ugh. It is disgusting. It still probably is not the worst thing I have encountered. As a baby, he peed on me more than once, pooped right on my lap, threw up all over my husband one night during a bath, and then of course there was all of the spit-up I had to wipe up. Am I sure I want another one? Sometimes, during these particularly disgusting and revolting moments, I think that one is enough. I'm young; I should be doing things that other 21 year olds are doing. However! There's always a but...when I get caught up in the moments where my son falls asleep in my arms or shows me what he has learned at school or just runs to me arms wide wanting a hug, I cannot help but feel sorry for anyone that doesn't have a child already. Those moments truly are the best, and of course it makes me want to have another baby and experience the firsts all over again (first smile, first food, first trip to the _____, and so on).




And then he turns off the computer as I am typing this, so then I forget about wanting another one.